I am Thelonius

I created this doument in 2014. I don’t recall what for. I revisited it and added a paragrah as pertains to my life now, but I thought it was pretty good.

• I AM…

I.

My name is Thelonius.  I am five. I love mommy. I love daddy.  I love God.  I like Barney.  I like Sesame Street.  I like my toys.  I am happy.

I am twelve years old.  I wish I was 13, because I would be a teenager.  Teenagers are cool.  They are able to do whatever they want and stay up and watch television late.  Teenagers have girlfriends, and they are big kids.   

I am thirteen years old.  I’m at the youngest and least respected teen age.  I wish I was sixteen, because I will finally be able to get my license.  I won’t come home until four in the morning and will get a fast car with a modified exhaust and intake system to go drifting in.  

I am seventeen years old.  I don’t have any respect from my parents and I have no freedom.  I wish I was eighteen, because I will finally be an adult, and I will be able to move out of this dungeon known as my parents’ house. 

I am eighteen.  I don’t have enough money to move out. Mommy, I needs some money for tuition. 

 College is a joke, and I can’t wait until I graduate.  I should’ve considered the car, medical, cell phone, electricity, and apartment bills. Why do I need to know about which reaction rate is faster? I hate this O-Chem class. This E1 reaction is highly favored?  How about I eliminate this class from my schedule. Oh, I need that for med school? Bet, I’ll retake that class. Sorry, can’t come, I gotta study. I wish I was twenty-one because that’s when I will graduate!  Also I will be able to buy my first 40-oz. of freedom.

I have twenty-one years.  I have drunk feelings, or I feel like I am drunk.  What’s 40 plus 32?  It is too many ounces.  I want to be the first pilot of a completely electric helicopter or be a monk, whichever comes first.  I want to quit school, and run around my books in a bonfire, while chanting in an ancient language.  Hangovers don’t end for me, as drinking makes me feel useless throughout the whole day.  I wish I was Twenty-two because that’s when I will finish my undergraduate degree!

I am twenty-two.  I may never finish my undergraduate degree.  I wish I was twenty-six because that’s the average age that students enter medical school.

I am twenty-six.     I can’t wait until I am thirty-one because I will done with medical school and will finally be able to make some money!

I am thirty-one.  I made more money as a child at my neighborhood Lemonade stand.  I get paid $20,000 a year for 80 hours of work.  Attendings treat us residents like slaves.  This career is not for me.  I can’t wait until I am forty, because my kids will finally be out of the house.  I also heard that forty is the new thirty.

I am thirty-five. I am considered a top earner in the U.S. I bought a car, bought a house, took vacations, got some new fits. Hmm, what else? Another back pain patient requesting disability? Probably just a strain. Let me go ahead and order this MRI, she seems like the litigious type. I miss the dedicated time to learn new things. Things feel a little stagnant.

I am forty.  Every day feels like groudhog day.  It turns out forty is the same old forty that it’s always been.  I wish I was 45, because my children will finally be in college and will no longer be a daily burden.  

I am forty-five.  My girlfriend is just with because she thinks I have money. Little does she know, I have a negative net worth.   My children leech money out of my bank account for tuition and other expenses.  Life feels empty…

II.

I am Thelonius.  I am not a number.  I am not my past, or my future.  I am with my family.  I am happy. Life is good.